Brandi.
Beloved. Wanted. Accepted. Beautiful. Saved by Grace.
Sick. Broken. Messy. Needy.
Truthfully, there are some days I don’t believe that I’m both of those things, just the sick needy girl. Today has been one of them. Nevertheless, I’m here to write about the messy process of resting in the midst of struggle.
What do I mean by rest?
- Physically: Lay on the heating pad, couch, or bed as long as I need to.
- Mentally: Not fretting over what I’m not achieving or accomplishing.
- Spiritually: Recognizing that God has me right in his hands, comforting me and not harming me.
Resting in this season has been a process. I’ve wrestled a lot and have come to a place of recognizing that most of what I’ve been through this year has been outside my control. I’ve learned to take a step back, breathe, and just enjoy the little moments. The extraordinary in the ordinary. Leaning into the rest of Christ when I’ve gone days without eating or I’ve fainted again. Resting, for me, is to be okay. No fear. No shame. Just trusting and being present.
Why focus on being okay when I should try being better?
- Better isn’t always the answer.
- Being okay with the now leaves room for the surprise of when better comes.
- Striving for something “better” isn’t restful. It’s anxiety provoking and tiring.
- Being okay in this moment makes me a better person in character.
This isn’t a place where I have all the answers. I don’t have cool tips and tricks for getting better, less sick, or some other cure all. This is a place for process, trial and error, and trying different things to manage my various illnesses. I hope to find relief through some things I try. But, the goal remains the same: resting well.
Forgive the typos and brevity.
RestWell 